Ukrainian Court & the Long Lonely Wait

This is the 4th and last post of our adoption trip to Ukraine.

Our Gotcha Day -- May 19th, 2008
Parents that adopt usually have a special day that they celebrate for the rest of their lives. Some refer to it as their Gotcha Day. Ours is May 19th, the day of our court hearing with the Ukrainian judge. Eric and I were nervous, only because we were unsure of what the judge would ask us. The hearing only lasted for about 30 minutes and it wasn't very difficult. The only hard part was in translating. The official language of Ukraine is Ukrainian, although the people in the area of Ukraine we are in speak Russian. The judge did a good job of speaking in Ukrainian and then Yulia would translate for us. We would answer the questions and Yulia would translate back. It's just a little confusing at times. After asking us questions, the judge allows the representative from the orphanage to speak as well as the Orphanage Inspector and a representative from the Prosecutor's office. The judge and two witnesses/jurors left for less than 5 minutes to discuss the merits of our petition. The judge quickly agreed that our adoption of Ella was in her best interest. After some legal language, she declared us Ella's parents and congratulated us. Although Ella was now ours, we had to wait the customary waiting period of ten days before we could pick up the court decree and take Ella from the orphanage. During this time, Eric would return home and go back to work.

Eric and Yulia left on Tuesday night. You guessed it -- on the overnight train. They arrived in Kiev early Wednesday morning and went straight to the American Embassy. Eric signed all the paperwork necessary at the embassy and then went to his hotel room to stay for the night. Thursday morning he was on Delta flight 89 from Kiev to JFK, by the end of the day (Arizona time) he was back home. Believe me, I was very jealous.

My first night by myself was very unsettling. I'm not used to being by myself at night, much less in a foreign country. I kept the light on in the living room and that gave me enough comfort to sleep. The next 9 days went by so slowly. I ran out of books after just two days. I read too darn fast. I watched movies on my Zune, and tried to watch stuff on Ukrainian TV. They show a lot of American movies and shows. Much of the time the English is completely dubbed out, but sometimes you could just hear the English right before the Ukrainian started on top of it. You don't have to tell me how desperate that sounds.

A few days after we came to the orphanage, two other couples came to adopt from Ella's groupa. They were both from Spain. Eric was so happy to "rap in Spanish" with them. Eric first told them he only spoke a little Spanish (typical) and they kept saying, "you speak very very well". Of course he was a little out of practice, but it came back very quickly. When Eric left the Spanish couples kind of took over my care. Louisa and Jose would meet me at the front door of my apartment building and walk with me the long 2 1/2 minute walk over to the orphanage. They were very nice and we tried to communicate as much as we could. It did help to have them there. We walked to store a few times and I was able to restock my supply of Ukrainian chocolate and Sprite.

I can not tell you how happy I was the morning of May 29th. My ten day waiting period was over and now Ella was ours officially. Yulia arrived from the train station at 7am. We were so busy with running all over gathering paperwork that I didn't even get to visit Ella. How ironic is that? The next morning we walked to the orphanage and took Ella out of the orphanage for the last time. (See above picture) I will forever be grateful that she landed in a wonderful orphanage where the care takers really do care. They gave me her original picture. The picture from the SDA file and the only picture that had ever been taken of her before meeting us. They also gave us her baptism certificate and a cloth and cross from the baptism. Ella had about 8000uah in her government account meant for her when she aged out of the system. So we went by the bank and did paperwork to donate the $1600 to the orphanage. We had already given our orphanage donation of $1500 cash on our first day, but this money was different. Either the government takes it back, or we can donate it to the orphanage, so to us it was an obvious answer.

Yulia, Ella, and I left for Dnipropetrovsk (try saying that five times fast, heck, even once) in a taxi. We had used the same taxi driver for much of our running around. He was nice and very knowledgeable about adoption stuff in the city. It was a two hour drive to the capital of the region, where we completed paperwork and finally made it to the passport office. Ella was so good all day, but she started crying as soon as they started trying to take her passport photo. Around 6pm we finished at the passport office and drove a short distance to the train station. The fast train to Kiev was still there, but tickets were already sold out. We had to wait around until 9:30pm for the over night train. Can you believe Ella's first night out of the orphanage, her comfort zone, was sleeping in a top bunk of the train compartment? She woke up a few times, but was really good considering the circumstances. I didn't fare too well in the sleep department, between Ella's legs kicking in her sleep and me trying not to fall off the side of the bed. Anyway, we made it to Kiev early in the morning and Yuri was waiting for us at the station. He took us to the studio apartment where Eric and I stayed when we first arrived in Kiev. It was nice to have a familiar place.

The next 11 days, Ella and I lived in this apartment. She had to adjust to a lot in a short time, but did very well. I know the time I spent with her during the waiting period was crucial to her ability to bond. I am so happy we made the decision for me to stay with her instead of returning with Eric. The hardest thing was just finding a way to pass the time. Ella was used to different care takers having shifts and 12 other kids to play with. So she became bored with looking at the same person all day long. We walked to the nearby mall several times, and Ella loved the toy store. These distractions didn't take nearly long enough, so we were extremely bored most of the time. It was very difficult to spend 21 days by myself, and except when I was with Yulia, I could only speak English to myself. I have never been so lonely. But of course, it was all worth it.

We received Ella's Ukrainian passport on Friday, June 6th. With the passport, we could finally go to the American Embassy and apply for Ella's visa. We went the same day and gave them the paperwork they still needed. They asked us to come back on Monday for our appointment with the Consular Officer. Sunday we went with Yulia and her wonderful family to visit St. Andrews descent. This is the place to buy souvenirs in Kiev. I bought the kids something and a few things for the house. The best thing I bought was a traditional Ukrainian costume and headdress. It is elaborately embroidered and I can't wait to see her in it when she is a bit bigger.

We successfully obtained her IR3 Visa from the embassy on Monday and Tuesday morning we left Ukraine on Delta 89. So many parents bemoan the trip back due to the discomfort and fright of their children. Some kids really freak out. I was fully prepared for this, but it was unnecessary. Ella was wonderful.

I hope these adoption trip blogs caught everyone up on what happened to us. Our adoption process and everything we went through was way harder than any pregnancy or birth I ever experienced. You are totally at the mercy of Heavenly Father and his will. We new he would guide our family, and we are so grateful that his will was for us to have our beautiful new daughter. We are so happy to have our completed family. Here is a picture of us all together.